TSA = The Stupidest Available

In a development that will surprise absolutely nobody, the TSA managed to screw up again. This time Alija Abdul Majed, a TSA screener at JFK worked most of his morning shift and never got a single hit on his metal detector. Not once did he wonder about the odds that it would take for thousands of people to stream through his terminal and never miss anything in their pockets. Turns out the odds were not in his favor, the problem was his metal detector wasn't turned on.

Why wasn't it turned on you ask? Because it wasn't even plugged in. Still feel safe?





 Let's set aside his name for a minute and the nagging thought running through all of your minds that maybe he wasn't just that stupid. We'll get to that in a little while. First I want to talk about the TSA as a whole in their response to this little set back of transportation safety.

In typical government fashion this is how the TSA represented it to the media:

The TSA would not confirm or deny that its detector had been unplugged, releasing a statement saying only that a metal detector suffered a “malfunction.”

Yep, that's right, a malfunction. One police source said this:

“The truth is, this is the failure of the most basic level of diligence,” a law-enforcement source said.

Let me fix that and say what he really wanted to say, "The truth is, this is the failure of the most basic level of intelligence." There fixed that for you.

So our little muslim screener, charged with groping us and giving us the illusion that they haven't allowed any dangerous objects onto the flight your about to get on, couldn't even tell how long it had been unplugged, or why none of the bright LED lights at the top weren't on. 

Then again maybe he could and just didn't want to. The law enforcement source went on to ask the following question.  

“How can you expect the public to feel confident of the mission of the TSA if they don’t even know if the lights are turned on?”

Let me answer that for you. Has the TSA ever done anything to make you feel safe? If so maybe you should watch this one video from the guy off of Mythbusters. 

A 12  inch razor blade? Really you can't find a frickin' foot long piece of sharpened metal designed to cut things? But I'm suppose to believe your going to catch the terrorist who is trying to blow me up with a bomb in his underwear? Please, while your groping Grandma and little kids and missing razors and steak knives, know that I'm am doing everything I can to get all of you replaced.

Who knew the guys from Airplane actually got jobs with the TSA?